In a Name
by madsthenerdygirl
Summary: The names they give each other.


**Title: In a Name**

**Rating: Wow, gee, I don't know, let me guess.**

**Summary: The names they give each other.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing, nothing… *breaks down into sobs***

**Dedication: To lastknownwriter, who is an absolutely amazing individual that I love slightly more than is decent, and is a far better writer than I am so go read her stuff.**

**Author's Note: I'm supposed to be writing an annotated summary on Hamlet and a report on "A Raisin in the Sun". Instead this plot bunny hops along.**

* * *

_Castiel_

It's how Dean introduces him to new people. _I'm Dean, this is Sam… and this is Castiel._ If they're pretending to be Homeland Security or therapists or door-to-door salesmen, it's said with a mixture of humor and reverence, Dean's lips twitching as he struggles to keep a straight face. If they're among hunters or someone else where they can let their guard drop, Dean puts an arm around Cas's shoulders as he says it, his smile fit to split his face.

_And this here, this is Castiel._

If someone dares to imitate Dean and call Castiel 'Cas', Dean is quick to put them in their place. They are strangers or new friends, perhaps sometimes allies. They are not worthy, in Dean's eyes, of calling Castiel by his nickname, the name that Dean gave him. Even Sam is careful in using it.

Dean uses it when dealing with enemies, as well.

_Castiel can handle himself… Don't you even think about bringing Castiel into this... Castiel isn't bothering with the likes of you…_ It's as if they are not even worthy of hearing anything but the angel's most formal of names.

But when Dean introduces him as Castiel, it's as if he's telling a joke that nobody but he and Cas can understand. They don't know he's _Cas_. All they see is Castiel. And the bright little spark Dean gets in his eyes is worth the trouble of getting people to pronounce his name properly.

* * *

_Cas_

Dean was the first person to give him a nickname, and although some people (mostly Sam) use it often, it's still Dean's name, the one that he made just for him. Sometimes he wants to introduce himself as Cas, just so he can know that he's Dean's first and foremost, even if nobody else will get it. Well, maybe Sam will get it, but he's been turning a blind eye to preserve his sanity.

_You gotta use dead man's blood, Cas… Hey Cas, check this out! Cas, you're never going to believe this… wait'll I tell you about this hunt, Cas…_

Dean always calls him Cas, never anything else, and it's at the point where if he were to call Cas by his full name, it just might kill him.

Dean uses it when talking to others as well. It's a subconscious way of staking his claim but if Cas were to tell Dean this, there'd be a vehement protest that frankly Cas isn't capable of dealing with right now.

Then again, Dean might like the idea. It's hard to tell sometimes.

_Cas says that… so I'm with Cas, right, and we… I told Cas… Look, take Cas as an example, all right?_

He knows Dean likes that he can say it when they're alone, pressed together in the shower or twisting in the sheets on the bed, groan it with abandon knowing that nobody else is going to dare call him that name.

He uses it when he gets impatient, too.

_God, Cas, you gotta… dammit Cas, such a fucking tease… Cas, I'm gonna make you see stars…_

Dean gave him that name, and Castiel let him. And from that moment, a part of him has belonged to Dean.

* * *

_Feathers_

Sometimes, it's a teasing endearment.

_Hey there, Feathers. Looks like somebody slept in, eh Feathers? Yeah, yeah, Feathers._

Dean knows it gets Castiel riled up, because technically his wings aren't feathers, at least not in their true form, but he does it anyway because he's Dean Winchester and he pushes boundaries the way other people eat chocolate: often and with great pleasure.

Castiel has since learned to bear it with grace (no pun intended), but sometimes Dean uses it as an insult and that's when he fights back.

_Can it, Feathers. Did I get your wings all ruffled, Feathers?_

A lot of angry words that they don't mean are said then.

But they always make up later – usually with a push from Sam or angry makeup sex (or both) – and Dean calls him Feathers with a teasing, cocky voice just because he knows he can get away with it.

* * *

_Baby_

At first, Dean only said it in private. And by private, Castiel means if-Sammy-walks-in-he's-scarred-for-life private, not we-happen-to-be-alone-in-the-room kind of private. It surprised Cas when Dean first used it, but he understands. Dean has had far too few opportunities for softness and endearments in his life, and Cas will never be one to deprive him of them.

_Ssh baby, let me take care of you… You're killing me here babe… gonna take you for a ride, baby, you just hold on tight…_

It was whispered into the hollow of his throat or breathed into his ear, pressed into hot skin and chuckled against his hipbone. Castiel knew it was simply a word, and one that originally suggested children, helplessness and maternity instead of sexiness, but when whispered in Dean's low purring-engine voice, it did things to him that should have been illegal.

Eventually, Dean got comfortable enough to say it during non-sexual activities.

_C'mere, baby – I'm gonna teach you how to drive. Just relax, babe, we've got this. Yeah, baby, you keep on thinking that._

It took nearly a year, though, for him to say it in public or in front of Sam. Ironically, when Dean finally took the leap he covered both things at once.

They were in a supermarket aisle, and Castiel was stuck on which cereal to buy. There were so many different brands, and really, how was one to tell which was the healthiest? What was this whole 'calorie' thing? Did it matter?

"Anything you want, baby. Just pick whatever." Dean assured him when Castiel asked what his preferences were.

It was a good thing Sam wasn't eating anything or he would have choked. As it was, the younger Winchester did an excellent impression of a startled deer… or moose, as the case were.

Dean ignored his brother, helping Cas select a cereal and moving the shopping cart down the aisle. Sam was wise enough to keep his thoughts to himself, and after that Dean said it whenever he wanted to be affectionate, playful or reassuring.

_We're getting out of this, babe… Baby, it said 'two thirds of a cup', not 'twenty three cups'… Y'know babe, if you touch it three times you're playing with it._

To be honest, Cas felt his chest fill with warmth whenever Dean called him that.

* * *

_Angel_

Dean first whispered it on their third time, his lips pressed against the shell of Cas's ear as they thrust together. Cas was finally learning how to get a proper rhythm down and was growing bolder in his movements, something Dean heartily approved of.

"That's my angel." He whispered, his voice full and soft. "God, so beautiful, _Cas…_"

Full sentences were kind of hard to string together after that, but Castiel remembered the name. It was painful to think of, knowing he was no longer that which Dean called him. He had been an angel once – Dean's angel, there to protect and serve him – but now he was human. A burden.

It was about a month after that incident that Dean used the endearment again. This time it was pressed into the corner of his mouth along with several lingering kisses.

"C'here, angel." Dean said, the word nothing more than a murmur as he coaxed Cas into the bedroom. This time it was a mixture of pleasure and pain, knowing that he was still holy in Dean's eyes, still worthy of the name.

Slowly, Dean started to use the word more often, but it was always only in the process of lovemaking.

_Gorgeous, angel, you know that, right? Fucking gorgeous… My angel… always gonna be my angel… Be patient, angel, you know I never leave you hanging…_

Cas never brought up the painful aspect of the name, because he didn't want Dean to feel guilty. It didn't take much to set off the self-guilt record in Dean's head, and the last thing Castiel wanted was to be the cause of it. Over time, however, he found that the term came to be less painful, replaced only by a rush of pleasure whenever he heard it. There might be something of Pavlov in that…

And so he welcomed it, clutching Dean a little tighter when he said it, because if Dean was going to keep calling him that then Cas was going to keep trying to be worthy of it. And if Dean only used it when it was just them, his own secret name, his final claim on Castiel, then far be it from the former angel to steal that from the hunter.

* * *

_Dean_

It might have been odd, considering the various nicknames and endearments that Dean has bestowed upon Castiel, but Castiel has only one name for Dean, and that's the one his parents saw fit to give him.

Dean.

It's used formally and informally, and he tacks in onto the end of every sentence he can.

_Hello, Dean. I do not understand this, Dean. Is this really wise, Dean?_

He uses it at the beginning of sentences, too.

_Dean, this milk expired a week ago. Dean, have you seen the sawed-off? Dean, Sam wanted me to talk to you about our use of the hot water again._

Sometimes he growls it, makes it into a full sentence all on its own.

_Dean._

Other times it's a verbal symbol of his exhaustion or exasperation.

_Dean._

And it's his go-to word to express every emotion and sensation he is still unsure how to say or act upon, be it confusion or frustration or arousal.

_Dean._

He can't think of a name that fits Dean better. He tried them all out in his head, from common endearments such as honey or beloved or sweetheart, all the way through every language ever created in the whole of existence. None of them fit. None of them were his Dean.

Dean himself will never admit it, but he likes it when Castiel prefaces _Dean_ with the word _my_. Especially when it's right before or after Cas sucks a vicious hickey or thrusts with extra force.

So while he does not have a list of names for various situations, he's far from complaining. He likes the name he uses, and it's certainly worked out for them so far.

Although, screaming _Dean_ to the high heavens will put Sam in a spiral of horror and crankiness faster than any poltergeist.

**Hey, my first five plus one! Go, me! Anyway this little thing just popped into my head and I had to share it. Now to see if I can snatch a couple hour's sleep before class in the morning… ugh.**

**Reviews are as beloved our favorite couple!**


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